Friday, January 13, 2012

Free Write

Today was my first day of College. 
Not really, because I'm half way through my Jr Year of College... but today felt like it was the first time. Today felt like I was really learning something important. Today school really meant something to me. 

One week ago, I officially declared my major. As many of you know, its been a long journey for me. I came in wanting to do Psychology, applied to the Photography program {twice} and got denied {twice}. I also got accepted into the Art Education program {twice} and decided that it wasn't right for me {twice}. I almost declared as an Art History major, and nearly looked into technology and engineering teaching {what?}. Then one day as I was contemplating my college career, I decided to go major shopping, when I fell upon the Humanities major. 

Let me first start off by trying to explain my brain to you. I'm not normal. My brain has the strangest way of thinking where everything comes in at different angles, shapes, colors, sizes, sounds, and somehow they all work out inside my little head to make sense of the world. Its a jumbled mess sometimes, but I love the chaos. There is no simple "this is equal to this" or "that explains that"... It's always been "How can I answer that with so many different possibilities". This explains why I changed my mind so many times. There were so many things that I was interested in, but nothing I was truly passionate about because I thought by picking a specialized major, I would miss out on so many other learning experiences. 

This is why on that fateful day when I stumbled on the Humanities course catalog I almost fell out my chair {literally}. In essence, the Humanities is the study of what sets humans apart from everyone else in the Animal Kingdom. It combines studying the different aspects of human nature, what we create, how we think, and how those all connect back to each other. In essence, I'm making sense of my brain. I loved how broad of an education the Humanities provides and how it teaches me the skills I need to succeed in whatever path I take in life. I was amazed that I could find a major that satisfied my strange brain and let me have the freedom to explore my options instead of just training me for a specified field of work. 

Which brings me to this semester. More specifically, brings me to today... where as I sat in my rickety old desk, surrounded by chalkboards from the 1950's, my eyes started to water. I blame it on all the chalk dust, but I know its because I was so happy to be right where I was. Instead of merely trying to answer the problems, I was asking the questions. Instead of simply trying to get through the class, I was invested in the material. What my teachers were explaining to me had real purpose in my life, and when I stepped out of each class I felt like a better person than when I went in. 

That's really what the Humanities does to you. There is no destined outcome. There are no job requirements. There is no single path to follow. Essentially, Humanities is preparing you to become more human. Not in the worldly kind of way, but in a way where you really start to look in on yourself and question who you are now and what you want to become. That is why, for the first time ever, I cried in an English class. As I walked home today, I really felt like I was on a whole new level of thinking. I just wished I could stop every student I passed to tell them that they should be learning the way I am... & they probably are in their own ways. This is how other students feel when they study astrology, biology, special education, design, neurology, nutrition, human development, or even accounting. I'm just so happy that I've finally found it for me.


The Pingrees said...

This was so beautiful, I almost teared up! The road to discovery can be so long, and I'm so glad you found the right fit for you! Nothing is more important. :)

mkoconnor said...

This is the moment I get exactly what I have always wanted. Because what you have just said what I have always said is the only thing I have wanted for my children: to find something they are passionate about.

Kate Magleby said...

I'm so happy for you! I went through the long road of trying to find what to major in and what I was passionate about. Once I found it I was so happy! I am so glad that you found your's! You're just amazing and beautiful, and I want to see you soon!

Lizzy said...

That was beautiful! You make me miss school. Thanks for reminding me to be grateful for my education and all of the growing experiences I had :)

Dev & Di said...

Love it. Love every bit of it! The same thing happened to me in school and it was my junior too when I switched to health science... all of a sudden I love school and love what I was learning about. So glad you found your passion cute girl!