Thursday, December 30, 2010


Happiness: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy

SO... I just wrote a novel all about this topic. Then I re-read it and it sounded so angry, and that seemed counter productive. So I just highlighted the whole thing and I'm starting over, all because I heard this song and it basically says it all.

Happiness is finding a pencil.
Pizza with sausage.
Telling the time.
Happiness is learning to whistle.
Tying your shoes for the very first time.

Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.
Knowing a secret.
Climbing a tree.
Happiness is five different crayons.
Catching a firefly.
Setting it free.

Happiness is being alone every now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Day time and night time too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness is having a sister.
Sharing a sandwich.
Getting along.
Happiness is singing together when day is through,
And happiness is those who sing with you.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and night time too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness - You're a Good Man Charlie Brown

And after typing that whole thing out I feel much better about this post. So I decided to do a little renovation to the song and say what happiness means to me. Happiness is finding a new song. Holding a baby. Soup on a cold day. Really soft sweatshirts. Happiness is a good long hug. The smell of an old book. Playing a board game. Laughing with good friends. Happiness is making someone smile. Lending a helping hand. Happiness is knowing you made a difference. Playing a part. And essentially, Happiness is selflessness.

For more on this topic you should really check this out.

or you can watch it HERE... its life changing I promise.


Before I moved to Utah I had never experienced seasons. In California the only change is going from hot to hotter and brown to browner.

I was amazed when I saw that leaves started to change. I mean that only happens in movies right? Wrong! It actually happens in real life, and its absolutely beautiful.

I remember coming to BYU just as summer was ending. I was sad because summer was my favorite time of year. It means beach trips, BBQs, no school, Ray Bans, light dresses, sleeping in, reading books, family vacations. I loved Summer

I was sad for Summer to be gone. I didn't want to change. But Fall came anyways. And as I said before I was amazed. I had never seen such color. I would walk home from school and I couldn't believe the beauty of it. I was happy things had changed. My friend Michael took me to jump in my first leaf pile. I got to start wearing cool tights and boots. Thanksgiving was coming. BYU football games were a priority. Ohh and did I mention how beautiful it was? I loved Fall

I was sad for Fall to be gone. I didn't want to change. But Winter came anyways. Yes it got cold.. and that was a change. All those leaves we gone. But those bare trees looked beautiful. The lines and the curves of the branches just inspired me. The snow was so refreshing. Such a pure and simple beauty the snow became to me. Watching as the snow danced from the sky and the steam escape at each breath was elating. Winter wasn't so bad... I got a snowboarding pass, drank plenty of hot chocolate, made snowmen, and huddled with great friends behind frost covered windows talking about the most important things in life. I loved Winter.

I was sad for Winter to be gone. I didn't want to change. But Spring came anyways. And spring sure did bring me a sweet surprise. Growing up I always figured flowers grew from the ground right? When you are little you draw a flower in the grass with a stem and one leaf and five petals. Thats basically how it works in California. But just like everything else, Utah has to outdo itself. Flowers were coming from everywhere! The grass, the bushes, even the trees. It was like an explosion. Flowers flowers flowers. Spring brought the world back to life, it brought an end to my finals, it brought me home to my family, it brought new beginnings. & I loved Spring.

What I'm coming to is that this past year I've learned a lot about change. Back home I didn't have a lot of changes. Things stayed pretty much the same. Hot to hotter. Brown to browner. && then I left home and there was this whole new world, all new changes. Yes it was hard, and yes it was sad for me to see things go. This year has brought a lot of changes. Falling in love, and saying goodbye. Starting a real job, sending off some of my dearest friends for their own adventure. Choosing a major, and changing it. I have moved in to a real apartment, where I cook my own meals. I have had to start all over and make all new friends. I had to take on a new job along with all my classes. And now I'm changing everything I've ever known to live in a new country for four months.

This year I've learned a lot about change. Yes its hard and yes it can be scary leaving the things that you know and the things that you are comfortable with. But when you get done with all that hard stuff, you see how beautiful that change is. You experience life. You see new things & you learn a great deal. But most importantly, you become more like the person you really are, or the person you are meant to be.

I'm sad to see things go. But I can't wait to see what is ahead of me.

Thanks 2010. You've been good to me.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Rain makes things pretty

So I know you've heard from me a lot lately... but I've been thinking.
And when I think I blog. Big deal.

I came home to CA for Christmas and today is the first day that it hasn't rained since I've been back. Everyone felt sorry for me because I came home to all this rain, but honestly, I love it.

Everyone can relate to rain in some way.

Wet. Clean. Scared. Rebirth. Rainbow. Sound. Calming. Movie day. Hair messer-upper. Scary drivers. Rain boots and Umbrellas. Smeared makeup.

As I went out exploring today I realized how beautiful the rain makes this earth. I live in a big brown valley. But today the hills were a bright green, the clouds had a light pink shade, there were small creeks through the valleys, the rocks started to grow moss. The whole place seemed alive.

And as cheesy as it sounds (because believe me, I know this is cheesy) but I really realized what they mean when they say you have to endure the storms of life to be able to enjoy the beauty.

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky."

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Gabriel Austin Deyo

Gabe Deyo

I can't believe its been two years since you've passed away.
You were a great friend to me and I loved it when you called me your little sister.
You always took care of me.
I'm thankful for the time I had with you here on earth,
and I can't wait to see you again in the next life.

"While we are mourning the loss of our friend,
others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Jerusalem Is Approaching

I still can't believe that in less than two weeks I'll be leaving the country for FOUR MONTHS to live in the Middle East. It just blows my mind.

I've been getting all ready, mostly trying to find cloths that will keep me covered from collar bone to ankle... (btw I'm pretty proud of what I've put together)
And now its getting time for me to pack up!

BYU Jerusalem Center...

(This is where I'll be living)

If you would like to send me mail
You can send it to

BYU Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies
(name of student)
P.O. Box 19604
Jerusalem, 91196

You can also send me e-mails at

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Thinking Spot

I've missed my favorite thinking spot.
New and improved with my old headboard and my new sketch pad and pencils...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Water For Elephants Movie Trailer Official (HD)

I read this book over summer and I absolutely LOVED it!
When I heard that they were making a movie I got so happy...
& that happiness only increased when I found out they were using Robert and Reese as the main characters.

I will be legitly upset if this movie is rated R.

The music, the actors, the costumes, the imagry, is all so beautiful.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


I'm itching to go home.
80 Degree Christmas
My Family
The Best Tamales on the planet
Packing for Jerusalem
Relaxation time
Home made food

These are just a few things that are calling my name right now.

2 more finals, a little packing, and a 9 hour drive is all thats keeping me.

Monday, December 13, 2010

When in doubt, blog it out

So this whole "your not good enough to be in our photography program" really sucks.
Lets be honest here.. who loves being told you aren't good enough?

So I'm doing a little re-evaluating.
I've been really upset because I loved all my art classes, I loved the teachers, I loved the HFAC (The Fine Arts and Communications Building), I felt like this is where I belonged. && I still do, that's the problem. So this is my dilemma.
What do I major in? What do I study? What do I want to learn more about?
I'm going to have to do some much needed soul searching these next couple of months.

I had a teacher last year that gave me this quote

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet"

Now I just have to find that meeting place.

Here are some of the options I have been thinking of...

High School Teacher:
Either English or Photography

Art History Major


Graphic Design

Textile Design


Human Development

I just have so many interests, I just have to find out which one I want to pursue right now.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

More Realistic Wishlist.

Okay okay... So maybe my last wish list wasn't exactly realitic... I mean a 1,500 dress? Get Real. So I am. Here are things that I've had my eye on that I could actually use.

Idea Journal: I've been wanting to start an Idea Journal... a place where I can keep everything that inspires me: a magazine cut out, a certain poem, photograph, flyer, a recipe, just anything at all. And as long as were getting real, this idea journal would have to be pretty dang cute. Luckily Anthro has come through for me again.. check out these eye popping journals.

Books: I LOVE books. I could spend hours in the library just walking up and down the isles looking at all the different kinds of books. You can find a book on ANYTHING.
Here are a couple I've found that I think I would enjoy.

What Would Audrey Do? (I'm not so secretly obsessed with her)
The Satorialist - I am a daily blog stalker. I would love the book.
Sense and Sensibility -Check out that cover art, I already have Pride and Prejudice && Jane Eyre. I drool over how pretty they are. I want them all!
Other People's Love Letters - A book compiled entirely of love notes. If I had a coffee table, this would be on top.
All About Me- This would be for Paige

Comfy, Oversized Sweaters

This Bunny Sweater from Urban makes me smile.
Love this Cable Knit sweater for winter to wear with skinny jeans and winter boots.

And I have to post something unrealistic... which would be THESE gloves. To die for.

Also I would love some colorful scarfs to take to jerusalem..

Pretty Lace Dresses(:

&& Some sort of brown messenger bag to bring along to Jerusalem

What are some of your current obsessions?


All in all I've had a pretty crappy morning.
So... in order to turn that frown upside down i'm going to make a list of all the things that made me smile today.

Phone call from my parents... those guys always have the best advice

My new anthro boots... everytime I look down at them I smile

My great roommates and friends who encourage me and tell me how great I am

Zupas... that place has the best soup for down days

Cool teachers that give you assignments like "Draw something that would be useful if there was a zombie apocalypse"

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints... for always giving me an eternal perspective and keeping me optimistic when things go wrong.

&& Last but certainly not least. The realization that things will be okay. That life will go on, just in a different direction then you planned. I'm excited to start a new journey, to go to Jerusalem and forget myself. To strengthen my relationship with my Savior. To see things that I never dreamed I would. I have had an amazing life and I have a feeling that this pattern will serve me unfailingly.

Ohh life's simple pleasures.

Photography Major

As many of you know, I applied to the photography department at BYU. I received a letter from them today and unfortunately, I was not accepted to the program.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who visits this site, whether its your first time or if you are a constant viewer. Thank you. It really means so much to me to hear your feedback and your interest in my work. I love photography and knowing that people even come and look at my work means so much to me. So thank you for all your positive comments and your support.

Even though I was not accepted into the major, I still plan to increase my talent as a photographer. I am disappointed that photography will not be my major here at BYU, but I am thankful that I had the chance to try. I'm thankful for all the work that I put into it and all my classes that I took for this plan. I have learned so much.

As I plan for the future, I realize that God has a plan for all of us, and it is much better then the plans that we make for ourselves.

Just know that I'm not giving up!

This is not the end of me and my camera.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Holiday Wish List

Just a few things I'm obsessing over.

This Sequin Skirt.

This Oversized PJ Shirt

Beautiful Marc Jacobs Watch
Great Dresses For A Wedding


A Perfect Skirt For Jerusalem

Cool Winter Leggings

Super Classy Skirt

North Face Jackets... I never thought I'd want one until I moved to Utah

A Freggin Ipod Touch so that I can have all my music on my ipod

&& Only the most amazing camera

SO... I know this is all pretty much out of my league... but its always fun to window shop right?

The Perfect Dance

I found this treasure today in the Library.

The Perfect Dance

The perfect dance needs music sweet
As dreams; seductive, so the feet
Are led to move as by some spell ;
Or music as of murmuring shell.
True dance shows naught of haste or heat,
Beauty and Joy, twin souls, should meet
To make that lovely miracle -
The perfect dance

A field of wind-kissed waving wheat ;
A swaying sea, scarce waked to greet
The dawn; clouds drifting; these things tell
What dance may be - if it excel.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Me said they saw in hers complete, -
The perfect dance.

Anonymous [1720 (French)]